Thursday, September 21, 2006
I thank God for this sister in Christ (:
drea, u've blessed my life (:
abbY*:
It's a amazing how You can speak right to my heart
without saying a word, you can light up the dark
try as i may i can never explain
what i hear when You dont say a thing
Jesus:
The smile on your face
lets me know that you need me
there's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
abbY*:
The touch of your hand says You'll catch me
whenever i fall
You say it best
when You say nothing at all
abbY*:
All day long i can hear people talking out loud
but when You hold me near
You drown out the crowd
try as they may
they can never define
what's been said between Your heart and mind
Jesus:
The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
there's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
abbY*:
The touch of Your hand says You'll catch me
whenever i fall
You say it best
when you say nothing at all
u noe, there are times when in your walk with God he seems to be so silent, like he isn't there and isn't listening to you. oftentimes, this happens when your life is getting messy... but u noe, God does this so that you will seek him, harder than ever before! so that you will learn to trust him and lean on him at times like this when you are not strong, and to lean on him even when things are going your way (: no idea why i'm posting this, just felt like it (: and its been too long since i've blogged about anything meaningful aka my walk with God/what we've talked about. haha. so there (:
Lord, thank you for being there for me (: forever and for always. for being patient and kind and understanding... and making me laugh when im down (: u're all i ever want, you satisfy (:
give me strength Father, so that indeed, i will never leave you.
i love you Lord.
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9:40 PM
Friday, September 15, 2006
inner struggle of emotions.. and u just can't seem to pin point The One emotion that has you wound up..
you dont noe the person who took his life personally.. and yet the sadness and sense of lost is still there..
maybe for his frens and family members who have had their world shattered.. torn to pieces.
or maybe, for him. he who did what he did for reasons maybe only he will noe
and so with the conflict in my mind and heart. i shall blog and hope it all becomes better through this oddly therapeutic form of technology.
strange that the feeling can be so overwhelming.. i dont dare venture to think of what his close frens and family must be going through. seems like the more u get on with life, the more death seems to find its way to you.
trivial stuff seem to matter so much now. seem to have been blown up.. that makes he who walked the same corridors, who took the same lessons, did the same tutorials.. more personal and closer.. as though you knew him as a fren simply because you can identify with the same social instituion and body of people as he.
the way he left was tragic
the atmosphere in school today was.. a mixture of shock, confusion, forced normality, dissappointment, sadness, constipation. it seemed as though all were at a lost as to how to respond. what do we say? who do we comfort? how do we say what we want to say? what are we feeling? how do we deal with what we are feeling? we were at a lost as to what to do.. how do you carry on acting normal when things just aren't? as pockets of the student population reeled from shock, an emergency civics lesson was called.. and everything that proceeded from henceforth was eerie.. as though taken out from a dreadful japanese horror movie.. almost like a scene from Battle Royale.. i never want to sit through another civics lesson like that again.. under the eagle eyes of our civics tutor and the counsellor.. scanning our faces as though trying to detect from a distance the slightest sign of.. what were they looking for? and a classmate left.. when they offered counselling in the multi purpose room.. when a torrent of emotions.. huge waves of overwhelming feelings fight their way around in ur chest.. and u want to cry but u want to laugh in denial.. u want to run away but you want to stay to sit and think through the mess before you.. it was too tragic to be true.
maybe because of rp.. when all the rg girls in rj know all the rg girls and all the ri boys in rj know all the ri boys.. somehow we're all connected. word spreads faster than wildfire.. everyone is connected to everyone else..(yea.. like a protein.. quaternary structure) and the emotions spread..
these were the things they weren't paid to teach us in school..
the school has suffered a huge blow.. and now.. students and staff scramble to pick up the broken pieces and to make sense of what fate has bestowed upon.. upon whom? if there's no winning end.. there's no losing end.. is there?
frens.. do take care of yourselves.. we're all here for each other...
"a friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity" ~ Proverbs 17:17
a song..
when i look around me
i see the tragedies
just below the surface
there's a million hearts that bleed
use me Lord, oh Lord
to show how much you care
i long to see your mercy flow across this land
hearts on fire
burning with ur compassion
Lord my heart's desire
is to see you change our generation
take me with you
Lord how i long to follow you
please take this heart of mine
i hope i haven't written anything in this emo period of time tt i'll regret later. forgive me.
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1:34 AM
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
a pure heart
thats what i long for
a heart that follows hard after Thee
a pure heart
thats what i long for
a heart that follows hard after Thee
a heart that hides your word
so that sin will not come in
a heart that's undivided
but one you rule and reign
a heart that beats compassion
that PLEASES YOU MY LORD
a sweet aroma of worship
that rises to your throne
Lord, let me hide in Your wings ='(
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11:38 PM
Monday, September 11, 2006
07S03N. we do pay attention in class, most of the time.. but jc life can be sooooo tiring
(=
to all my fellow jc students; victims of the Singapore Education System =P all the best in your exam preparation! when u're stressed.. chocolate helps (:
yea yea, exam period no exercise.. therefore u shldn't be eating those extra calories.. but look here
"The priest shall burn them on the altar as food, an offering made by fire, a pleasing aroma. All the fat is the Lord's"
Leviticus 3:16
here, have an mnm ;)
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8:06 PM
Friday, September 08, 2006
studied/caught up with Bel this week! (: here we are, exclassmates, friends.. foodlovers! haha. vicepresident and president (from left) of the Food Appreciation Network aka FAN (: presenting Bel, with the pink belt i gave her for her birthday. haha. people change, and grow to like pink (: bright and cheery colour!
had lots of fun studying with her and her two classmates (timon and junxiang? oops)
look what i found on my computer.. hee
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12:00 AM
Saturday, September 02, 2006
(: i love trees! haha as in the person. aha!
she says i talk alot of nonsense but i dont think so!
she says she fears for her sanity when we talk about and laugh over nonsense but i dont think so!
she says i'm so used to my nonsense that i dont even realise its nonsense but i dont think so!
IN FACT, i think i have grown up alot this year. yes (:
i think i've become more serious, more consistent...
i have laughed less
i have learnt to control my laughter instead of letting it control me. it always insisted on rushing out like a torrent of lava. lava because it always leaves me red, breathless and with an aching stomach
enough of that
i like studying with trees
and shopping with trees
and designing+making our pins with trees coz roxy didn't want to sell us the pretty pins separate from the ugly shirt
look at mine! hehe
and i love my godsistas!! haha. yes matt! we need to meet up and mug! until its dark enough for us to have dinner on the school roof again (: this time we go seventh floor roof k! (: i thank God for my godsistas matt, trees and laila! (: (:
God forbid matt be too influenced by us. we shall learn manly ways for his benefit :D haha
teachers day was good! mr tham has erm. cool dance moves. aha! (: went back to rg and omg i miss ms leow!! haha. she's so cute! i can't believe she's still not married. guys must be blind. haha. she really was an inspirational teacher.. and like i said, if it weren't for her.. i'll be in xinwei's place now =P (yes xinwei, i said it again! hehe).. dying with boring econs instead of lively lit! (:
met andrea and cherie back in rg (: miss rg track! haha miss you jo! and all the other juniors.. haha. support ur new captain chew min alrite! and all the way for next year! a captain is only as good as the people who support her (:
ministry sure is great fun! haha i love the ao team! (no i am not over using the word 'love', i truly mean it alrites.) yihui, charmaine, caroline, joachim, sherron, crystal, shiwei, pj! haha. we had so much fun on sunday during ao l cell.. and before it.. and after it too. haha.
recently, i've been learning alot from some christian books i'm reading.. and i feel so.. pleased with the world. haha! no, just generally happy.
another reason why i'm feeling so brilliantly happy today? i got an email from jacinth! haha. it was great to noe how God is working in Turkey and how she has been. my God is so big, so strong and so mighty there's nothing my God cannot do! her email was not only refreshing and comforting but extremely encouraging as well!
cheer up squeezee! promos will not get us down! holidays will still be holidays for me! i'm gonna do sth fun everyday! YES I AM. (:
jean! how did u find my blog! haha. mrs samuel low... u are sneaky! and u dont get to pinch my cheeks just coz i'm cheeky (: NO pun intended. (:
Jesus I Love You, More Everyday (: (:
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12:20 AM